I'm Sorry Gift- Bogotá
When done right, giving a gift of forgiveness takes that act of contrition to the next level and facilitates true healing.
The Do's and Don'ts of Giving a Gift of Forgiveness
If you're considering a gift to go along with your apology, pay attention. You don't want the gift to be seen as a bribe or pushing the envelope. When apologizing for a felony, take it easy as you get back into the relationship. Healing takes time.
Depending on the person and their comfort level, keep these tips in mind when giving a gift and saying you're sorry.
be sincere
If you're doing this in writing, choose your words carefully. Ask a neutral party to read the message before you send it to ensure it reads sincere and thoughtful.
Whether in writing or in person, take full responsibility for what you have done wrong. This doesn't have to be long. You can just say "I'm sorry" and leave it at that. You can also say that you regret what happened or that you made a terrible mistake.
Don't Make Excuses
Make it clear that you feel remorse for what you have done. Don't add a "but" after saying you're sorry. This could seem like justification and ruin the moment.
Accept all responsibility. Now is not the time to make excuses or blame other people. It's about you saying you're sorry in a genuine way that resonates with the person who means so much to you.
Mention the Consequences
Show that you understand that for every action, there is a reaction.
Accepting the blame and the consequences is part of meaningful amends, with or without a gift. Don't expect the relationship to heal instantly, and you don't want to pressure someone into accepting your apology right away.
Tell the person you are apologizing to to take their time. Recognize that it is a lot to absorb. Accept the fact that they may not react with grace or forgiveness. The important thing is to say you're sorry. Whether they accept it or forgive it is up to them. Respect the process.
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